possibly the solution to my blogging delinquency

does anyone know how to upload a video on blogger EASILY? i tried to upload this and it wasn't going through. maybe i had to wait a really long time?

anyhooo this will work for now. click the link to see my newest blog-video style!

questions? comments? thoughts? would love to hear what you think

jessica

click hereeeeeee!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZAUAMFCsRw

confusion

can not really understand what God is trying to do with me right now.

why am i scared of staying? why am i scared of going back? what the heck? why do i want to stay? why do i want to go back?

my list of pros and cons for both has not helped me.

if you read this, will you please pray that i get some CLEAR guidance? also that once i have that guidance that i will not be fearful of what it will require to make it happen?

thats what is going on right now. wish i had some answers.....

hola hola

hi yall!

i decided to not stress about writing once a week because i think there are only about 5 or so of you that actually read this.

last post was in portuguese hehehe. ive been really wanting to use my portuguese. while i was in spain a couple weeks ago i was talking with some brazilian girls and completely made up words that were half french half portuguese. it made me realize that i need to speak it more often. A LOT MORE OFTEN.

while away i also realized how much i love europe. i love living here. i love belgium....but especially THIS week. the sun has been out since saturday!!!! blue skies and warmish weather. i think God is very slowly giving me puzzle pieces i need to put together in order to make a decisions....whenever THAT is supposed to happen.

have a happy thursday! i cant get over the fact that it has been so nice :)

infinite possibilities

something i wrote for my portuguese class. basically a blog post in portuguese. hahahah love it! sorry some of you won't be able to understand. i know there are some mistakes, but im waiting to get the correction back. dad, im sure you could email me with the corrections as well.

Possibilidades Infinitas

Aqui eu estou em Wavre, Bélgica, uma mulher de 26 anos que trabalha com adolescentes belgas. Eu amo absolutamente o que eu faço. A pergunta é: Para quanto tempo faço isto? Tem muitas outras coisas que eu gostaria de fazer.

Como vou saber o que eu devo ou não devo fazer? Como posso fazer uma decisão? Eu gostaria de retorna para à escola e de começa um Masters. Eu gostaria de modar-me para Brasil. Eu gostaria me casar. Eu gostaria de viver em Portugal. Eu gostaria de continuar aulas de portuguese Eu gostaria de aprender como tocar o piano. Eu gostaria de viajar o mundo!

Com todos estes sonhos, esperanças, e desejos eu poderia fazer muito. Mas, onde posso começar? Eu amo a Bélgica. Eu aprecio verdadeiramente viver aqui. Desde o momento quando eu chegei aqui, eu comencei a aprender muito sobre mim mesmo. Eu tenho aprendido mais de quem eu gostaria de ser e sobre quem eu não quero ser. Este tempo na minha vida moldou-me. Que bênção é ter tido esta experiência?

A partir de agora tenho ainda um ano e quatro meses de vida na Bélgica. Me sinto como tenho decidir tudo agora. Eu sei que muito pode acontecer em um ano. Entretanto, eu gostaria de esta preparada para minhas etapas seguintes. A maior pergunta é: Como posso manté a fé no meio da incerteza?

A fé não é algo que eu levo muito leve. É algo que eu construi a minha vida envolta. Segundo Dictionary.com, a fé é "a confiança em Deus e em suas promessas feitas por Cristo e as Escrituras e que os seres humanos são justificados por ou salvo." Eu tenho muito fé. Mas, as vezes é difficile guarda-lo. Se nós não temos fé, ou algo para pôr a nossa esperança, por que estamos vivendo? Eu acredito na Bíblia e que ela diz. No livro de Mateus existe uma história de um homem cego que Jesus cura. Em um ponto Jesus coloca a suas mãos nos olhos do homem cego e diz "‘Seja-vos feito segundo a vossa fé.’ E os olhos se lhes abriram" (Mateus 9:29-30 (João Ferreira de Almeida Atualizada)). Ele deu ao homem sua vista! Essa história é apenas um dos muitos casos em que Jesus revela quem ele é.

Em uma outra história, mas uma vez ele é esta fazendo um milagre e esta com o seus discípulos quando eles lhe perguntam porque ele não poder fazer algo acontecer. Jesus diz em Mateus 17:20 "Por causa da vossa pouca fé; pois em verdade vos digo que, se tiverdes fé como um grão de mostarda direis a este monte: Passa daqui para acolá, e ele há de passar; e nada vos será impossível." Precisamos apenas ter um pouco fé. Parece muito fácil dizer, mas não é muito fácil de pôr em ação.

Eu tenho que ter fé que o Senhor sabe exatamente onde ele me deseja. Tenho que largar o fato que eu penso que eu tenho que controlar tudo. Não é realidade. Se eu continua a ter um relacionamento com Jesus (ler a minha Bible, ora, estar companhia com outros cristãos, procurar sabedoria, etc.) Deus me direccionara no bom sentido. Eu continuarei a orar para que ele me dara as respostas no momentos certos.

more since jan

things are better since my last update. not anything exciting. i still feel like things are just going and im not as enthusiastic about life right now. that is the complete opposite of what im usually like. talked to a belgian last night, who has lived in the states for a few years, he said...well youre its belgium in february. i guess that reassured me that it wasnt just a problem i was having but maybe it is just the weather, etc.

im hoping to get a spiritual boost soon! how? i dont know.

thanks for your emails! i still have to respond to some ppls.

the most significant thing happening is ski camp. we leave tomorrow!! i hope that i can still be passionate about the kids that i work with. that i can give. please pray for that.

also my computer is no longer here :( it is pretty sad.
i hadnt backed up my stuff since probably august. i know i know. but its just the way it goes. my brother says he is more than likely NOT going to be able to retrieve any files. but we can PRAY FOR A MIRACLE!!!

other than that i dont know what im going to do in the mean time. ill have to figure that out after ski camp.

thanks for reading! sorry no pics :(

the month of february...

howdy!

this month has been so busy. i have been occupied every day of the month. it has been fun, but im definitely looking forward to march when things will calm down.

i went to my second to last training in england. i travelled on the same day that they had the blizzardy stuff. yeah...it was crazy in london. my train was only 20 min late. i ended up waiting at the station for some friends that were arriving from paris. it was cold in that station, but i thought if i needed to get a cab to the hostel we had to stay at, i would do it with 2 other ppl.

their train was 2hrs late!! ahhh i know :) so then i learned that our training would not happen that day because everyone was stuck somewhere. we had lunch at the train station and then i went to the hostel to sleep. i had only gotten 1hr and 15min of sleep the night before. i know what you are thinking, dad. it just happened.

we had a great time as a smaller group since many ppl couldnt even get out of their own airports in their respective countries.

on that wed night i was able to watch the show, wicked with some yl friends to celebrate my b-day! well, i was celebrating my b-day. they didnt know it was soon to be my b-day ....hehehe not until we were about to part.

on sunday my roomate laure made my favorite belgian dish...mmmmm RABBIT in a beer sauce with apples and raisins...hmmm hmm good! she invited the 3 friends i wanted to come over AND THEY CAME!! it was a really good time :)
these are french speaking friends ive been praying for! please pray that we can continue building our relationships.

that evening i went to go pick up my friend, Rachel, from the train station. she came to spend my birthday with me! it was so good to have here and see what my life is like in Belgium. she was able to visit with the people i work with, see some kids, and do a bit of site-seeing. plus she did some incredible friend things for me...like she did my hair! my nails! and brought me some pretty cool goodies that were a huge surprise! im thankful for her!

Belgium Update Jan '09

I can't believe it is almost February! Can you? Wow, Christmas came and went.

I'm so glad to have had an experience of Christmas in Belgium. However, right about now I have a feeling of wanting to go home. I wish you all knew how I really feel. Sometimes I feel so humbled and privileged to be here. At other times I feel like I'm trapped, which is definitely not the case despite my emotions.

January has been a tough month for me. I've been feeling quite down. Actually, I thought I was out of this "funk" until Saturday. Uhhhgg. That is how I feel!

Everything in ministry is going well. I truly do enjoy being here. It is just hard to explain my mixed feelings. Some people think it's due to the weather. I think it might be that I sometimes I need to "be the kid" and not always feel stuck being the leader. This is where I ask you to send me a little message. I surely miss EVERYONE. That is probably part of it as well. Last year at this time I was able to see many of you, even if it was only for a few minutes. Honestly, I didn't think I would miss everyone as much as I do. We get so comfortable with the people that surround us and don't realize how it feels without them there.

I share this so that I can be transparent to you. My hope is that if you too are feeling down; remember to lean on the Lord. We are called to be obedient to the Lord no matter the circumstances. This is a season that is here and in time will pass. We must stand firm! But it's hard!

Sorry I don't have much to offer this update. Hope you are all well and that you are blessed this year of 2009. God has big plans for all of us! I pray that we are patient, obedient, and confident in our Savior and his will for our lives. Pray for you who receive this update. Thank you for your year-round support and especially your year-end giving!

Blessings,

Jessica

blog: jessinbelgiumyl.blogspot.com

I've included a page from an "Our Daily Bread" book....just something reassuring to think about.

January 18

All things work together for good… to those who are the called according to His purpose. ~Romans 8:28

When a cowboy applied for an insurance policy, the agent asked, “Have you ever had any accidents?” After a moments reflection, the applicant responded, “Nope, but a bronc did kick in two of my ribs last summer, and a couple of years ago a rattlesnake bit me on the ankle.”

“Wouldn’t you call those accidents?” replied the puzzled agent. “Naw,” the cowboy said, “they did it on purpose!”

That story reminds me of the biblical truth that there are no accidents in the live of God’s children. What seems like a tragedy from the human standpoint can actually be a providential means of blessing.

Does everything seem to be going against you? These apparent misfortunes are not accidents. The Lord allows such things for a blessed purpose. So, patiently trust Him. Someday you will praise Him for it all!

–R.W. D.

GOD TRANSFORMS TRIALS INTO TRIUMPHS.

e-newsletter pics

hi there!

just wanted to share some background on the photos us put in the january update.

the first photo is of us girls preparing dinner before club. we made some type of soup/stew. very very yummy! that is probably another thing i can put on my resume :) hehehehe teaching teenagers how to cook. they get so caught up in following the exact directions. that is just a little proof of their inexperience. in cooking...you go by what it looks like, taste likes, feels like..hehehehe. it was a fun time of being together in the kitchen and then taking some pics while in action.

the second photo is on my sled ride down the mountain of the austrian alps. it was pretty amazing! im so glad i went to serve another YL region. i had the wonderful opportunity to goof off and be a kid again sledding down the ginormous mountains.

thank the lord for that opportunity as it helped me take the first step out my "funk."

its so late....gotta sleep. thanks for reading!

car and cold

ohh boy my car. it didnt start on monday when i was on my was to portuguese class. so i missed it :( uggghhh what a bummer. :(

so it got working and i thought it was fine.

on tuesday (yesterday) i used it to pick up a girl after school. it was fine.

i didnt want to drive to class this morning because i was afraid there would still be ice etc. plus the traffic stinks already in the morning. i was going to take the train.....ended up not doing that. luckily i didnt go outside because my car didnt work anyway. i went to leave this afternoon and it didnt work. try out some things to make it work and it didnt happen.

sheesh! ill be taking the train everywhere tomorrow, which is fine besides the fact that each ride is at least 1hr. booohoooo. i do prefer taking the train but they arent as convenient as getting your car...you know!?

so thats the deal. dont know when or how ill fix the car yet. maybe saturday. that is the first day ill actually have time and not have to miss or cancel ONE more thing :(

goodnight!
yes, i guess i can put mechanic on my resume now. ;)

austria

i realize that this is not something ive been making a priority. id like it to be very much.

who actually reads this? i was hoping to write a little every week, but it seems like ive only been doing every 2 or 3 weeks. id like to continue however would like to know that people read this.
_____________________________________

today i was supposed to go to my last french class, but it was WAY too cold and im afraid of going too far in my itty bitty car on these not so very good roads that are not plowed and VERY icy. ive been home working which is great! but i do feel bad for not going.

next week im going to austria...but to get there it will be an adventure. marissa and i will be travelling together. at least that is a plus! we fly out really early on wednesday to rome and then from rome to munich. in munich, lyndsey will be picking us up and we are driving to mittersill. or something like that. apparently it is 2-3hrs away. we will be there providing child care for our old region. (well we split and their half is the other half!)

im bummed that we wont be near salzburg because i really wanted to do the sound of music tour. i guess ill have to do that another time.

you know when your time flies by and "the end" seems near you get more antsy about going places. all of a sudden i feel like i have to get so many cities and countries checked off my list. I LOVE TO TRAVEL. hope that i will be able to do some fun travelling soon.

tootles. j

mum

you know...when im driving i always think of these great things to blog about. now that im at home and in blogging mode, ive forgotten what i thought was so great.

i guess ill just share that i get to see my mom in 6 hours. that is pretty amazing! i mean. how neat is it that you can be on one continent and then a few hours later and a thousand miles away you are on another one! i love it and i cant wait.

i know we will both be really tired the next few days, but man oh man is it worth it!?!?!

can you tell im excited! :)
ok gotta go. hopefully ill remember the things i was wanting to blog about. cheers!
-moi

germany

well today was the end of a long stint of busyness! wooohoo fewf we got through that.

i was in starnberg, germany from wed through friday. on friday stayed in munich until saturday night. im glad i didnt book flight out of munich on friday because the trains from starnberg into the city were LATE. germans area NEVER late. something big must had been up. we were at the train station in starnberg for over an hour waiting in the COLD for our train. some people were were with had to make their flights, plus we were waiting for quite some time. so we broke up and took 3 cabs to a different train station where we took the train to where we had to go.

that night (friday) i went out to eat with some work friends. i stayed the night with them at their appartment in munich. we got to sleep in! training was very tiring...mostly wednesday because i had only gotten 3hrs of sleep the night before and was in munich by 8:30 that morning. that whole day was one thing right after the other. all in all training was great.

the best part of the trip was experiencing the christmas market in munich! it was so neat to smell the mulled wine, the sweets, and the savory sausages, etc. it was absolutely beautiful! i had never been to a christmas market, so that was a nice experience for me. the only thing that wasn't the best (but didn't really bother me that much) was the fact that it felt like black friday!

so now im back in belgium. had a LONG meeting today to plan ski camp. wanted to blog for a few minutes and then im crashing. tomorrow ill be working in the office instead of it being my day off.

tchus

stay connected

if you know me...you know i take pictures of EVERYTHING! and I LOVE using my timer. hehehehehhe yes

(picture of our group minus Aurelie)

we have been having a bible study on sunday nights with guys and girls from this area age 20+. it has been really good! every sunday i wonder, man why did i commit to helping lead this? then once we get into the study i understand.

this is how we are with jesus too. we dont want to go to him. we thing its a drag. we're tired. we're busy. we're not worthy. we have no time. once we are at His feet we are filled and humbled. why do we get that initial feeling of blahhh? i think it has to do with the fact that we don't keep that relationship up with him. like a friend, like a family member. if we aren't getting the recent news on how things are going, we lose contact. we lose connection. we feel further and further away.

he has our best interests in mind. let's not forget that.

"seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." matthew 6:33

STAY CONNECTED!

Christmas begins!

we put up our Christmas tree today (satuday)! it was so great!!!!! laure and i wanted to do it so that we didnt have to spend a lot of money. she doesnt want to stay in belgium and i dont know how long ill be here. we saw fake trees for like 60 and 90 euros. PRETTY RIDICULOUS!

today was the day we had time to spend looking for a tree and decorations. since there are no real trees available right now we decided to go with fake. (ive never had a real tree before...one day!)
we found a tree and ornaments for not so cheap! we ended up having a beautiful tree for under 75 euros. that is pretty unbelieveable granted all things here are outrageously priced.

we put on some Christmas music and had a great time sharing in this experience of putting together and decorating our tree!

i was also able to put up the nativity scene that used to be my grandfather's. he used to put it up every year! when he passed away in May, i asked my mom if i could have it. luckily no one else had requested it. so, now it is here in belgium! from brasil to the states (but not put up) to belgium!

its been a hard year, but i think i might do a resume of the year at the end of december. hope you are well. thanks for reading!!!

sunday

ugly sunday....went to church, had lunch, went to the gym for 20 min, oh and in between lunch and the gym i took a wonderful 1 hr nap. now im preparing for tonights study!

just wanted to ask for you to pray for me. i have a lot of work to finish for training and i dont want to be stressed right before. ive gotten a good head start, but now im slowing down and am no longer motivated.

thanks!

long time

hey there!

oh my goodness...i cant believe i havent blogged in a MONTH! that is so incredibly long. this month has been pretty awesome! of course it was busy, but busy isnt always bad.

i know that november will be quite busy as well because i have to prepare for my training. there is so much to get done. i will have to really work on managing my time.

tomorrow is technically my day off, but i know i will try to get a few things done for work. from tuesday through thursday i will be in holland for a regional meeting. im excited to see my collegues and friends!

ive signed up for twitter. ill be researching it a bit more before i get the word out, but if you read this and want to follow, please do!

a bientot!

back to blog!

well friends it has been 2 months since ive written anything here. while i was in the shower thinking about what to write or even just updating my blog, i thought...hmm no on ever mentioned "hey are you gonna get back on your blog." so im wondering who is really reading this.

in any case. i hope to get by in the swing of things with this. there is so much to tell.

for now i will just tell you that i will be going to my first Beglian funeral tomorrow. if you read this, please pray for my JV friend, marie, whose father passed away unexpectedly of a heart attack last wednesday. -will keep you posted

also, a girl i knew from McLean was murdered last week. all of this is very unreal to me. i have mixed feelings about both marie's father and gini, whom many of you probably knew. i just cant imagine all this. maybe it is better that i cant. that im in a way naive to all this and experience it from a far, even with marie's dad.

i dont know. well goodnight

la suisse

here we are, most of the leaders, however missing roselie and kiki. they stayed behind with the injured young'ens. this was right in front of one of the many BEAUtiful waterfallls. this group was excellent. we had/have a great team :)

back from camp

hi ya'll! well we are back from camp. its been a week. can you believe it?!?! we had a splendid time. i just got the DVD of almost all the photos from several cameras. ill be taking some time upload them on my picasa website. that will take quite some time as there are about 2500 photos or so. yeah! tell me about it.

today is a typical day in belgium. rainy and gloomy. as i was looking through the pics i became a little bummed. more than usual. i know that ive gained a lot of weight being here in belgium, but man...I CANT STAND IT ANYMORE! i feel completely stuck. i wish you really knew how i feel. on days like these (almost everyday) all i want to do is stay in my room and work or sleep. that is what i do. i dont have the motivation or energy to go work out or do anything. nor do i have the funds, but you have to have the will first.

anyway if you are reading this, please pray for me. id like to "get back to normal." to a point where i can appreciate myself and not feel that i have to hide myself all the time.

stories and pics to come later......

thanks for reading and not being critical of me when im being vulnerable. hugs all around wishing for some sun!

ONE WEEK!

hello! we have one week before camp!!! wow :)

this week will be busy with getting office stuff squared away and preparing for our american team to come visit. this will be a good good time for us all. i just know it. please be praying for camp and for our kids.

i went to two of my girls' baptism yesterday. it was excellent. how neat is it to hear teenagers talk about their faith and tell about how and why they decided to serve the Lord. there was a bbq after. i stayed for that then went to spend some time with noora. she was alone this weekend.

saturday night we went to play volleyball with some of the people from the big youth group in brussels. if you imagine a church with a youth group...this is like that...but....it is many little churches youth that get together on wednesday night. anyway, volleyball was nice. then we went into the city to grab a bite to eat. it was a nice time of getting to know some new people.

tomorrow is my french class picnic. we will all bring some food to share. i have no idea what ill take.

thats it for now!